Reddit user itcomewitheggwoll asked:
"What event made you realize your parents were not the people you thought they were?"
Never There
"Slowly realising over years that they were never actually there for me, despite saying they were."
~ TheOneWhoRemembersIt
"My wife's parents are this way."
"I think her dad is purely just delusional to what happened."
"Her mom is the classic 'I did my best' whenever a hint of criticism comes up."
~ FuckChiefs_Raiders
Indefensible
"When they refused to defend us from vile relatives & neighbors."
~ roseslilylove
In Sickness And In Health
"My mom got sick."
"Growing up my mom and dad both worked so hard, but my mom did all the parenting. My dad was a workaholic and was never there for, like, dance recitals or swim practice."
"He was also emotionally unavailable and enjoyed arguing for the sake of arguing. I always wondered why my mom, the most amazing woman in the world, ever married him."
"Then my mom got sick a few years ago and my dad stepped the f**k up. He cooked, he cleaned, he took care of her day and night. Whenever I visited all my dad would do was talk about my mom. He would tell all sorts of stories about the adventures they had when they were younger."
"It became clear that my dad was just the most devoted man in the world, that he loved my mom more than life itself. I've seen him in a completely different light ever since."
~ IlludiumQXXXVI
Their True Colors
"We were taught racism is wrong. All people are equal."
"My sister came home with a Japanese fiancé. Their true colors came out. I was shocked."
~ Goodygumdops
It Was Never Me
"It was such a gradual realization that my entire family wasn't what I thought they were. I was always at the bottom of priorities, never heard or seen."
"I actually legitimately cried yesterday because I looked around at the life I built with my boyfriend and just thought... F*ck, I did it. I built something good with someone."
"It was never me."
~ UnevenFork
Big Mess
"I was grounded when my parents weren't at my school bus drop off and I attempted to walk back into town to a friend's house."
"When I was 8 my parents bought a country house in a new school zone so I could attend while they renovated. The bus would drop off after school and one of them would be there to pick me up."
"One rainy day I ran off the bus, up the lane and realized no one was there but the bus had already left. I had nowhere to seek shelter and no houses around so I just figured I'd walk 2 miles back to town since we had a family friend who lived on the edge of town."
"A quarter of a mile down the country road and I hit the county 2 lane where a car spotted me and pulled over. The driver was a person I knew (prior school friend's dad) and in the passenger seat was another man I didn't know who instantly gave me a bad vibe."
"I did NOT want to be in that car. The driver insisted I get into the car but I refused, ran into the bushes to hide and they drove away."
"A few minutes later my parents pulled up and began berating me for not being at home, screaming that I had no business walking on the road. I can still hear them scream 'get your @ss in this car'.
"They then grounded me for 3 months, no friends or TV, and never apologized for not being home. They claimed they were behind the bus and never saw me get off to pick me up (liars), so they went to the school believing I'd missed the bus."
"In the end they guilted another school friend's parents to allow me to come to their house in the 'highly unlikely' event my parents weren't at the house when the bus came to the house. It happened so much those other parents had to confront my parents to ask if I should make other arrangements because they felt taken advantage of."
"My bus driver also had to report the incident to the school each time and then the principal started asking me about the status of our home renovations since he realized we weren't living there."
"Big mess, big embarrassment for my parents, and they basically took it out on me. Fun times."
~ triplee711
Not A Good Person
"I vividly remember the exact moment I realized my mother was not a good person.
"I was watching a documentary on TLC, about a man who had horrible tumors growing all over his face that had already destroyed his nose and at least one eye. He could barely see, talk, or breathe without lifting this huge cluster of masses on his face, and had been suffering for years and years.
"Obviously, the subject of the doc was him seeking surgery. This is relevant, I promise."
"Skip to the end, he gets the surgery, and lives! At least at that time, they weren't able to reconstruct his nose, but gosh darn, by every metric he looked amazing compared to before."
"After he was healed up enough, it showed this heartwarming scene where he grabs one hand each of two of his nurses, singing and dancing because he's so happy not to have those horrible things on his face anymore."
"I still remember the warm fuzzy feeling I had in my chest, watching that scene. How wonderful. Look how happy he is. This man just got his life back."
"My mother, who is in the living room behind me, and has seen everything I've just seen, watching the same happy scene that I am, grins, and says the following:"
"'He's ugly! He should off himself'."
"Then laughed, and walked away."
~ MeidoPuddles
Really Abnormal
"Dated a girl in college who invited me over to spend Christmas Eve with her family. They were loving and supportive of each other and seemed happy to be around each other."
"Made me realize that my home life was really abnormal. I remember I even asked her if they were putting on a show for me. She seemed confused when I shared my typical Christmas growing up."
~ Ristar87
"This happened to me with my now fiance. The first time, we went to her parents and had dinner. Loving and supportive, it was strange to see and be a part of."
"Makes me uncomfortable in a way. 5 years later, and I still feel awkward around them and at their family gatherings."
~ PapaOomMowMow
"Same with me and my husband. I first realized something was wrong with my family when I visited the homes of previous long-term boyfriends."
"By the time I got with my now husband, I knew that it was awkward and it hurt to see functioning families that loved each other, and braced myself for our first meeting."
"Since then, I have gotten so close with them that it is SHOCKING to think about how my parents treated me growing up."
"My in-laws would NEVER. I love them so much and feel so lucky."
~ sharkraybaby
That Was A Lie
"Life was pretty good with my single mom until I was 8, besides being poor. But even being poor was fine."
"She went and married a guy that I told her many, many times was a very bad person. She didn't really care what he did to me until I was 18 and could leave."
"In retrospect, I wish I could have run away or gotten myself put in foster care, but that was pre-internet days, and I was just a little kid."
"She was finally sick of the abuse and cheating she endured when I was in my 20s and left him."
"Now I got PTSD and other mental health issues 30 years later—it's always a struggle.
"She always told me she loved me more than life, I was the most important thing in the world. That was a lie."
~ UnicornOnMeth
12 Steps
"When my dad stopped drinking, turned his life around, and apologised for being such a f*ckup when I was a kid."
"I f*ckin' love my dad."
"Twelve years sober this year. I'm so proud of him."
~ Call_M-e_Ishmael
Okay To Steal
"My third grade teacher let my mom and I stay in her house for a few nights after my dad had a drunken rampage in our home. She had a few bottles of really good smelling Victoria's Secret vanilla scented perfume in her bathroom."
"When I was expressing to my mom how amazing it smelled, she encouraged me to steal one of the bottles because my teacher 'wouldn't notice' if one were missing..."
"Even as a child it really puzzled me that she told me it was okay to steal from the woman who was letting us stay in her home out of goodness of her heart."
~ audrey-marie
Not Matured Emotionally
"I'm worried about my dad. Even though he and my mom BOTH worked and are both retired now (they're both 75 years old), my mom still handles literally every single domestic task."
"My dad doesn't know how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc... I get mad at him when I observe this, but my mom has also allowed these patterns to continue."
"What will happen if my mom dies first? Is he assuming that one of his daughters will step in and take care of him? I'm not eager to find out."
"It's interesting to see how our perceptions of our parents change over time. My own conceptualizations of what 'adulthood' and 'maturity' are have changed drastically as I've reached middle-age."
"I realize now that plenty of people have hit the markers of adulthood (marriage, kids, etc...) but have not matured emotionally in any meaningful way."
~ all_neon_like_13
Unable To Maintain
"My mom is unable to maintain a lot of friendships because she cuts people off at the hint of a perceived slight."
~ the_unkola_nut
"Same. And then if I don't join in and agree, she perceives it as a slight against her, and I'm next in line to get sh*t-talked."
~ honeywaxed
Just A Man
"Since my mum died quite suddenly last year, I've noticed that my dad is actually... just a man. a boy, really. He's in his 60s but has life no more figured out than I do at half his age. He's scared, confused, hurt, and has no idea what he's doing."
"He had a plan for retirement and old age, but he's just now realising that he spent the best years of his life working and earning towards that comfortable retirement and now he has nobody to spend it with, which is heartbreaking to see."
"He does know how to look after himself and he's a great cook. I just meant that he always seemed to be someone who had it all figured out, had a plan, and he was all business."
"Often travelling for work and working long hours, he just seemed like he knew what he was doing. A very practical man who just kind of knew everything, as far as younger-me could tell."
"When mum passed, and I saw him cry for maybe the first time ever, I didnt see my Dad anymore, I saw a teenage boy who got carried away in 'the grind', and was realising he didnt have a chance to re-do it all."
"A boy who felt lost and alone and who didnt have any of the answers anymore. It was ... strange. I don't really have the words to describe it."
~ SoullessUnit
Backstabber
"I noticed early on that mom never had anything nice to say about anyone when they weren't around."
~ bannedbooks123
"This was my mom too. She talked sh*t on eeeeeverybody. It was so draining."
~ PrettyPeggy-0
"Same here. I grew up thinking that was normal and that everyone did it. Never even questioned it."
"I mirrored that behaviour and could not understand why I had so much trouble keeping friends, and why I cycled in and out of toxic relationships."
"Took me until adulthood to realize that talking sh*t about the people you love is not okay."
~ wakiki_sneaky
Were you ever blindsided by your parents? What happened?
